I lived in a house. It wasn't expensive though, no. It was just a regular, ordinary, average house you would live in. But, I faced one problem with my bathroom.
The door was missing.
Without a bathroom door, I would look embarrased. Until one day, I saw the door again, and I thought I was dreaming, until the door had a face on it and it ran towards me. He tried to eat me. Until I fought him back with a pencil (WTF?). It worked! He ate the pencil, and he died.
I had no idea why the fuck that would work. I lived happily-wait. He's coming back to life! No!
I ran to the kitchen. I threw a tomato at him. Then a cake. Then a waffle. Then my dog. Then my wife. But he ate them all up! I then tried to hit him back with a shovel. But he ate it all up! And I tried to put him in the freezer, but he ate that up too! Then I gave him the toilet. And he ate that up too!
"What a weird door he is."
Until then, he went to his taxi, and he yells "Yo Holmes, Smell ya later!" And I looked at his kingdom and he was finally there, to sit on his throne, as the prince of Bel Air.
And then a [http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrn8bo773Z1r2r4f3o1_500.gif skeleton popped out] and killed me.